Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
