It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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