so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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