he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize