Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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