I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
