Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
