and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
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she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
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I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag