the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.