so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up