On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
