just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
