Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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