what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
