just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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