I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
