Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
