Its about making memories worth repressing
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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