i wish starbucks made bloody marys
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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