Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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