dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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