he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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