Don't you send me to vm
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
