Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
