About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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