Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
