i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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