i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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