You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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