Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
