I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I could fuck to npr.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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