I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
