he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
