I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
