her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
