3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
