Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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