I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
