There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
