But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
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I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
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Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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