He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
