He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize