I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
