I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize