So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Im part way to drunk.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
