THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
