bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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