You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
