She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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