after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
