i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
