Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
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A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It's official drugs can't kill me
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
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So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...