eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major