The maid of honor just puked.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
No I am not eating basil off your cock
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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