i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize