in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize