The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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