Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
