I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I woke up under a house in Key West
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