She said her name was "party"
Can Purell be used as lube?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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