She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
